Quick Answer
The Bible teaches that true friends love at all times (Proverbs 17:17), offer wise counsel (Proverbs 27:9), speak truth in love (Proverbs 27:5-6), and help sharpen one another spiritually (Proverbs 27:17). Jesus is the ultimate example of a true friend, laying down his life for us (John 15:13). Scripture encourages us to choose friends wisely, as they can profoundly influence us for good or bad.
Friendship is a vital aspect of human life and a key theme throughout Scripture. From the very beginning, God designed humans for relationship – with Himself and with one another. The Bible offers rich insight into the nature of godly friendships, their importance, and how to cultivate them. This article will explore what God’s Word teaches about friendship, examining its characteristics, benefits, challenges, and ultimately how our friendships should reflect Christ’s love.
The Importance of Friendship
The Bible affirms the great value of friendship:
- Friendship meets our innate need for companionship. God said it was “not good for man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). We were created for community.
- Friends can provide comfort, support, and strength in difficult times. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 speaks of how two are better than one, for they can help each other up when one falls.
- Godly friends can sharpen us spiritually and help us grow in faith. Proverbs 27:17 says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.”
- Friendship enriches our lives and brings joy. Proverbs 17:17 states, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
- Friendship allows us to practice Christ-like love and service to others. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).
See also: Bible Verses about Friendship
Characteristics of True Friendship
The Bible describes several key qualities of genuine friendship:
Loyalty and Faithfulness
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). True friends stick with us through good times and bad.
Honesty and Truth-Telling
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6). Real friends speak truth in love, even when it’s difficult.
Mutual Edification
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). Friends challenge each other to grow in godliness.
Sacrifice and Service
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). True friendship involves self-giving love.
Encouragement and Emotional Support
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Friends comfort and uplift one another.
Wise Counsel
“…the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel” (Proverbs 27:9). Good friends offer godly advice and wisdom.
Forgiveness and Grace
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends” (Proverbs 17:9). True friends extend grace and forgiveness.
Shared Faith and Values
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers…” (2 Corinthians 6:14). The deepest friendships are rooted in a common love for Christ.
Choosing Friends Wisely
Scripture emphasizes the importance of carefully selecting our close friends:
One who is righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 12:26 (ESV)
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV)
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 13:20 (ESV)
Our friends can profoundly shape our character, values, and choices. We should seek out friendships that will encourage our faith and help us grow in godliness.
See more: Bible Verses about Friends
Challenges in Friendship
The Bible is realistic about the difficulties that can arise in friendships:
Betrayal and Disappointment
Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.
Psalm 41:9 (ESV)
Gossip and Slander
A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends.
Proverbs 16:28 (ESV)
Bad Influences
Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man
Proverbs 22:24 (ESV)
Jealousy and Competition
A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.
Proverbs 14:30 (ESV)
Unforgiveness and Bitterness
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.
Ephesians 4:31 (ESV)
Jesus as the Ultimate Friend
Jesus Christ provides the perfect model of friendship:
1. He calls us friends
No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
John 15:15 (ESV)
2. He laid down his life for us
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 (ESV)
3. He offers constant companionship
…I am with you always, to the end of the age.
Matthew 28:20 (ESV)
4. He gives wise counsel through His Word and Spirit
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.
John 14:26 (ESV)
5. He extends forgiveness and grace
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us
Romans 5:8 (ESV)
Our human friendships should reflect and be rooted in our ultimate friendship with Christ.
See also: Bible Verses about Jesus as a Friend
Practical Applications
Here are some ways to apply biblical principles of friendship:
- Prioritize your relationship with Christ as your primary “friendship.”
- Intentionally invest in deep, spiritually edifying friendships within your church community.
- Be the kind of loyal, encouraging, truth-telling friend that you want to have.
- Extend hospitality and look for ways to sacrificially serve your friends.
- Speak words of affirmation and encouragement to build up your friends.
- Pray regularly for your friends and their spiritual growth.
- Be willing to have difficult conversations and offer biblical counsel when needed.
- Quickly extend forgiveness when friends hurt or disappoint you.
- Look for opportunities to share the gospel with non-Christian friends.
- Continually evaluate your friendships to ensure they are drawing you closer to Christ.
Conclusion
God has designed friendship as a beautiful gift to enrich our lives and help us grow in Christlikeness. As we cultivate deep, godly friendships, we experience a foretaste of the perfect love and unity we will one day enjoy in heaven. May we cherish the gift of friendship, choose our friends wisely, and above all, find our ultimate friendship in Christ.
References
- https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-friends.html
- https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/true-friends-are-hard-to-find
- https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-still-need-good-friends
- https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/forgiving-the-wounds-of-a-friend
- https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-a-friend-we-have-in-jesus
- https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-gospel-and-friendship
- https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/friends-shape
- https://africa.thegospelcoalition.org/article/friendship
- https://blogs.bible.org/can-men-and-women-be-friends
- https://bible.org/seriespage/9-becoming-friend-god-genesis-18
- https://bible.org/article/should-christians-have-unbelieving-friends
- https://www.ligonier.org/learn/devotionals/christian-friends
- https://www.ligonier.org/learn/devotionals/true-friendship
- https://answersingenesis.org/education/spurgeon-sermons/120-a-faithful-friend
- https://www.compellingtruth.org/Bible-friends.html
- https://www.compellingtruth.org/true-friendship.html
- https://www.challies.com/book-reviews/friendship-and-the-grace-of-god
- https://www.challies.com/articles/why-are-you-friends-with-your-friends
- https://www.challies.com/articles/an-unexpected-overlooked-benefit-of-friendships
- https://www.9marks.org/article/little-help-my-friends
- https://www.9marks.org/article/the-gospel-for-a-gay-friend
- https://www.neverthirsty.org/bible-qa/qa-archives/question/my-friend-is-totally-judging-and-criticizing-his-friends
- https://www.truthforlife.org/resources/sermon/friendship
- https://blog.truthforlife.org/three-traits-of-a-true-friend
- https://www.truthforlife.org/devotionals/alistair-begg/4/12/2023
- https://tabletalkmagazine.com/article/2021/06/the-importance-of-friendship
- https://tabletalkmagazine.com/posts/when-you-may-or-may-not-need-to-step-back-from-a-friendship
- https://tabletalkmagazine.com/posts/christ-centered-friendship